Vet Nurse specializing in exotic animals, artist, easily distracted by other hobbies. Moderator for the worlds longest running MMORPG ever because why wouldn’t I be.
fave things right now: BTS, toy design, hobonichi journaling, idk man (but i’m not often one to define myself with fandoms anymore.)
Ask me about: hamsters, EDM musicians, animal questions in general
FAQ: “hey there’s something wrong with my ____” Go to the vet :)
some ppl will be like im deranged. ooooooh i love fucked up media. did you know that im utterly insane. and you go to their blogs and it’s 3 pages straight of dean and cas eating plain toast and raising a baby together or whatever
I made this a long time ago but for some reason never posted! It is my quick guide to protecting yourself against burnout as a person with ADHD and ASD.
Of course it is all about meeting your support needs at the end of the day, which are completely individual and may vary over time, but this could function as a guide if you have a hard time figuring out where to start! 🫶🏻 💙💙💙
We talk about how hard it is for disabled people to get jobs, but I feel like we never talk about how hard it is for disabled people to KEEP jobs. To everyone who gets burned out after a few weeks or months. To everyone whose progressing disabilities make them quit jobs. To those facing discrimination and getting fired because their disabilities interfere with their work. To everyone who gets a job and then realizes they cannot handle the responsibilities. To everyone who cannot get accommodations and are pushed out of jobs for arbitrary reasons. I see you. I’ve been you, a lot. I love you. We deserve better accommodations and we deserve to live full lives without working if we need or want to.
sure you have “neurospicy accomodations” (stim toys and slime) at your support group meeting but are masks required. is it wheelchair accessible? is the lighting harsh or flickering? is there a place to go if you’re upset or overstimulated? is there a clear schedule? does anyone in the group speak sign language? could a nonverbal person participate? are there multiple options for activities? is there music? is it loud? is there food? how many options are there? are there common allergens in it? are they clearly labelled? are there flashing lights? can you attend virtually? are hallways and pathways clear? are there accessible bathrooms? do they have a sharps box? do they have space for someone to transfer from a wheelchair to a toilet? do they have space for a caregiver or support worker? are there enough places to sit down? is there enough space for everyone to be without crowding? can people opt-out of planned activities? et cetera…
I think we should have a turn of phrase for “I’m not in the right, but I AM annoyed with this situation, so I just need to go bitch to a friend about this before I suck it up and go do the right thing” because more and more I’m finding this is a critical element of functional adulthood.
Various tags on this post like “isn’t that venting?” “isn’t that kvetching?” and sure it’s a subcategory of that. But those are missing the key detail of this specific case which is the “I’m not in the right.”
It’s the “fuck I’m NOT in the right, I GET that, I WILL be mature about this, I WILL just suck it up, I WON’T take it out on the person who’s annoying me because they haven’t actually done anything wrong, but by satan’s spicy asshole I AM annoyed. So I’m gonna spend 5 minutes in private being a dramatic bitch about it before I get over it and go be a perfectly civil reasonable adult about it.”
This is important.
Acknowledge the fact it’s okay to be wrong and annoyed about it. Vent the frustration.
Put your adult undies on and be responsible for resolving the issue.
“Unfortunately my circus, unfortunately my monkeys”
wish i had a bit going where whenever i said “the prophecy” like three of my friends would repeat “the prophecy” in different tones while squinting into the distance and rubbing their chins like sages deep in thought. i would also do this for them, im a team player
okay, so, be me, 27 years old at the time, an adult by any definition in the world
be me at the los angeles zoo, one of my very favorite places in the world, because i love animals. i am immedietly 8 years old when presented with a little creature. i can’t help it.
okay, wait, go back. we must establish two things for this to hit right
first:
the year before, i’d gone to the san diego zoo with my aunt and grandma and! they let you feed giraffes there!!
how wonderful a world and how wonderful a life, where for $10 I can hand feed a giant creature three crispy biscuits. i go “i am feeding the giraffes right now” and go in line to buy the biscuits and return moments later triumphant, 3 biscuits in my grasp
“oh good!” my grandmother says, “one for each of us!”
“yes,” i say, despondent, “one for each of us.”
i wanted to feed all three to the giraffes myself but since i am an actual adult and not a child i do not say this and share the biscuits
second:
my friend group echoes. a lot
someone tells a story and ends it with “and that’s what happened!” and the rest of us will repeat “and that’s what happened!”
often in unison. and it’s constant, all the time, even to little stuff. often said in the tone of “they don’t even have dental”
ok, so we’re back at the los angeles zoo. they have opened the giraffe feeding
i am not going to be thwarted again
my two friends (K and M) get in line to feed them and i go to buy the biscuits. i return with nine biscuits because i am going to give the giraffes three biscuits myself and i do not want to hear a word of protest. i am being fair. i am being equitable. i am sharing. no one can judge me
“wow!” says K. “that’s a lot of biscuits!”
“the cult provides,” i say generously, handing over their share, because what is a friend group if not a small cult
and then, automatically, in unison, like they have so many times before and thinking nothing of what exactly they’re saying, M and K reply, “the cult provides”
two different people in line turn to stare at us while we all blink at each other and then M nervously shouts, “we are definitely not in a cult!” which sounds like something someone who is in a cult might say
and ever since it’s been a running bit where one person says “the cult ____” and everyone echoes it as seriously as possible, no matter where we are or who we’re around
which is to say, OP, that you could be living the dream if your friends weren’t cowards
ALT
